the Renegade Goddess

 Dear Friends, Beloveds, Lurkers, and Lovers…..
At Thanksgiving this year….my Mother read a story about my Great Aunt…I am named for her…she was a bit of a Renegade Goddess too. She ran a bookie sheet….wore great hats…and cooked silver dollar pancakes for all the kids in the neighborhood in a pinch….This Great Aunt of mine….this namesake….always […]

It had been a long day…it was the first full day of the conference….and then my session with Max right after dinner….and while I was all tied up with Max, (OMG those red shiny ropes) …the conference was holding an evening of Salsa Dancing….it was still going when I was complete with my session.
I was […]

“Let’s go back to the room….perhaps I will beat you a little bit….before dinner” He smiles and chuckles at me….
Hmmm……..Yes…….Yes…….Yes…….
We walk back to our room….and we both hit the showers….there was something intimate and so intentional…showering and dressing for each other….in such close proximity…instead of simply showing up….ready for Him…..it made me bashful.
I showered first…and […]

I have been fascinated with ropes since I took the Power, Surrender and Intimacy workshop through The Body Electric School with Alex Jade and Al Waddel almost two years ago now….but I have had little opportunity to explore it.  And the memory of breast bondage has been vivid in my memory……so when I heard that […]

I am in the airplane…heading home…I have been gone for six days….I am wearing the leather collar that DK and I agreed would represent the bond between us…the collar looks a bit like a necklace…it is black leather and lays flat on my neck…with a simple silver buckle. It is not easily recognized as a […]

I haven’t talked about Zan in a while…
For those of you that are new readers….Zan was my first Sacred Intimate…the first man that ever touched my body outside of my husband…..at the time I do not know who was more frightened….him or me….as I was his first female client….but not his last.
I worked with Zan […]

So….DK wrote me a very loving letter yesterday……he told me that he really can’t help me with my struggle in how best to communicate my desires and requests to him….as it is a “Bottom thing”….and he is a Top…..he thought that perhaps I should speak with other fully surrendered Bottoms that negotiate communication issues with […]

I am not a natural bottom in many ways.  Life taught me to be a dominant.  I had to be from a very young age in order to create a life around me that felt safe. If I didn’t create it….it often didn’t happen.  I couldn’t trust the floor underneath me unless I hammered in […]

So…I am still here.
And some clarification about yesterday’s post…some of you took me literally….the bad “Tops” I was talking about were not play partners…or potential play partners…I was using “Tops” as a metaphor for other people in my life who I actually have to work with!
My professional life has been exhausting….and I am raw from […]

Do you ever “watch” yourself as you do things? Sometimes I do. And sometimes I even write about myself and my experiences while I am having them….in my head…like some weird outer body narrator. I try to actually stop that when I catch myself doing this…I wonder if it is a protective mechanism from being […]